4 Ways to Tell Your Date You’re Sober
Dating while in recovery, or as a sober person, can be quite a challenge.
Studies show that 55 percent of Americans reporting having consumed alcohol in the past month, and it is a substance that can be found at all hours, in many establishments.
While all these individuals may not be heavy drinkers, those in recovery may not wish to be around alcohol, since it can be a trigger for relapse.
Since many dates take place at bars or establishments that serve alcohol, it is wise to explain to your date that you are sober, and any needs you may have related to that lifestyle.
But how do you discuss sobriety with a date?
Below are four strategies for talking to your date about your sobriety, and having a fun sober date.
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What are 4 Ways to Tell Your Date You’re Sober
Studies show that 30% of adults do not drink alcohol.
And while sobriety seems to be a growing movement, it is still a minority of individuals who do not drink.
Since your date may be planning wine and roses for your big evening, it may be wise to get out in front of the discussion by sharing your sober lifestyle prior to the date.
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Put it in Your Dating Profile
One smart way to tell your date that you are sober is to put the information in any online dating profiles that you use.
Making this information clear from the beginning may even help you attract individuals who share the same lifestyle commitment, providing you with additional support, and the certainty of a sober and substance-free dating experience.
Call / Text Before Your Date
If you did not meet your date online, it might be a good choice to share this information via phone call, text, or another communication strategy, prior to your date.
While it may feel uncomfortable to reach out just to share this information, you could always initiate a contact to confirm your plans and to mention that you are sober.
You may use this information as a chance to brainstorm a sober date together, to make sure you are both on the same page for your night.
Just Choose an Alcohol-Free Evening
If you don’t feel ready to discuss your sobriety, you could simply suggest a sober date, and explain your sobriety when you become a bit more comfortable.
For example, proposing a coffee date, hiking, ice skating, or a dance class, could provide an inherently sober experiencing, letting you explain your sobriety to your date in your own time.
Should you choose this strategy, and your date offer a drink, feel free to say something like, “No, thanks. I’m passing on the alcohol tonight” or “I have to work tomorrow,” and leave it at that.
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If you decide that you prefer to tell your date about your sobriety during your evening together, or on a future date, feel free to keep it light.
In choosing not to drink, you have a made a great choice for your own physical and emotional well-being. Whether you decided on sobriety because of completing treatment, or because you simply don’t want to drink, you don’t owe anyone a complicated or personal explanation at this time.
And it’s certainly nothing to be embarrassed about!
Feel free to mention your sobriety like any other fact about yourself, such as enjoying CrossFit, or loving books, and then move on.
If you feel comfortable, and wish to go into detail, that’s great. But if not, just share your preference with pride, and then dazzle them with the rest of your date
Effects of 4 Ways to Tell Your Date You’re Sober
Studies show that over 86 percent of people over age 18 have had alcohol at some point in their lifetime. And whether you are one of them, or if you are someone who has never tried alcohol, your choice not to drink may initially raise eyebrows.
As a result, some people may feel tempted to hide their sobriety for fear that people will think they aren’t fun. But this is not a great idea.
While it’s fine to avoid the topic in depth on your first date if you aren’t ready to talk about it, you can’t – and shouldn’t – dodge the discussion forever.
The physical and mental health reasons to skip the alcohol are numerous, so your decision is smart, if unusual.
Furthermore, if you are in recovery, and the relationship continues, you will want their support and encouragement.
So, while the exact timing and language of the discussion is up to you, being embarrassed is not an option – hold your head up high and show your date that your sobriety is fun, smart, and even sexy!
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Mental Illness and 4 Ways to Tell Your Date You’re Sober
Sometimes individuals who are sober, or who are in recovery, will be afraid to date for fear of standing out or being “uncool.”
But studies have shown that social isolation can be a barrier to recovery, and a catalyst for addiction. Instead of holding back, look for opportunities to connect.
Those who are going through recovery are encouraged to establish friendships and engage socially with individuals who share their commitment to sober living.
It can also be important that these interactions are in person, as much as possible.
This is to say that, while affirming, online connections have value, they do not replicate the social and psychological benefits of feeling personally accepted.
Not sure where to start?
There are apps, like Loosid, Hinge, and Single and Sober, that will help you find dates, and friends, who are in alignment with your lifestyle, and who will help you build your sober social network.
But whatever you choose, do not allow worries about stigma against recovery, or against sobriety, to keep you from mingling.
Be sober, be proud, and be connected with those who support your positive choices.
Treatment and 4 Ways to Tell Your Date You’re Sober
While connecting with others through sober dating can an important part of recovery, it is not a substitute for ongoing treatment and aftercare.
But with professional treatment, it is possible to make a full recovery from alcohol abuse, and to stay on a healthy path for the future.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, one-to-one counseling, 12-Step Programs, peer support groups, nutrition therapy and other supportive programming can be valuable as part of ongoing aftercare and can help recovering addicts build lasting resilience and healthy coping mechanisms.
Within this context, sober dates can provide an opportunity for fun, normalcy, and connection that are consistent with long-term recovery goals.
At Resurgence Behavioral Health, you are never alone.
We know that you need a community that makes you feel recognized. And we are ready to provide flexible treatment and payment options to make recovery accessible.
The team at Resurgence will communicate with your insurance provider on your behalf, and we accept most PPO insurance and private forms of payment. You can even pay for your admission online.
We can help you find the financial plans that are best for you.
Call the Resurgence team at 855-458-0050 and let today be the start of your new life.
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How to Get Help
Whether you need alcohol recovery treatment or aftercare services, today is the start of a healthy new beginning.
The Resurgence Behavioral Health team is caring, experienced, and ready to cheer you on to a lasting recovery.
We are trained and licensed in modern substance abuse recovery techniques.
And our breathtaking locations in Costa Mesa, Fountain Valley, Huntington Beach and Fullerton Hills have everything you need to minimize distractions and focus on your wellness needs.
In this safe, private, and therapeutic environment, you will discover self-empowerment, emotional connection, and resilience to live a satisfying life, free of addiction.
From medically assisted detoxification, to group counseling, 12-Step Programs, prescription assistance, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we have evidence-based programs to support your recovery.
Today is the day that you will discover the possibilities that recovery can offer.
Call Resurgence Behavioral Health at 855-458-0050.
Your future starts today.