How Do I Deal With a Drug Addict Spouse?

Every day, countless husbands and wives face ongoing challenges that coincide with drug addiction. Sharing a home with an addict often leads to separation, if not divorce, if the problem is not properly treated. In fact, dependence on drugs is one of the most common reasons that marriages end, and this is not uncommon for people with a drug problem. Fortunately, some steps can be taken for dealing with an addicted spouse rather than throwing in the towel on your marriage. There are specific actions you and your better half can practice, as well as avoid, daily to achieve recovery and prevent a relapse. Let’s take a good look at the challenges of living as the spouse of an addict and how you can help your loved one get better.

How Does Addiction Affect a Marriage?

It’s no secret that any long-term marriage or partnership isn’t always roses. Every couple has its fair share of conflicts. However, when your husband or wife is battling with drug addiction, even your smallest actions can make a difference, such as skipping a beer or glass of wine for dinner in order to show them you’re on their side. You must also figure out how to assist your better half with his or her pains. You must realize that you can’t con or force anyone into giving up an addiction to drugs or alcohol — they ultimately have to want to achieve recovery, too. The best you can do is be there for support. Begin by confronting your spouse with the problem.

How Does Substance Abuse Affect Relationships?

Most people are aware of the damaging effects of drugs on your body, including the brain, heart, liver, and pancreas. Relationships and substance abuse can also have negative results on both your professional and personal interactions. It often becomes a struggle to maintain honest and healthy communication with the spouse of an addict. Romance quickly turns to bickering and name-calling. People’s feelings end up getting crushed, and situations sometimes escalate into violence. Fed-up husbands and wives have been known to give up, feeling completely helpless. Not every marriage that deals with alcohol or drug addiction is headed for disaster. In addition to couples therapy for addiction and the best treatment programs at a top rehab like Resurgence Behavioral Health, a reliable spouse can be a stable rock that provides help to a partner suffering from substance abuse.

Can You Stay in a Relationship With an Addict?

Overcoming any addiction is strenuous, and it can take several years to feel like you’re finally over the hump. When dealing with a drug addicted spouse, it’s crucial that you take good care of your own health and happiness first. You can gain mutual support from one another when you battle addiction as a team with couples rehab. You can begin by setting boundaries. For instance, there should be no drugs or alcohol of any kind in your home. Do not let your spouse inside if he or she is not sober. At the same time, cut off communication if necessary. Also, you have to stop hanging out with people who participate in drug or alcohol abuse, as they can easily become enablers. Finally, do not give out loans, whether it is a little cash or your car for a quick trip to the store if you believe they might be seeking drugs or alcohol.

There are certain actions a loved one can take to show support for a partner who is battling addiction. For example, you can stage an intervention. This reminds folks just how much their behavior affects you and others they care deeply about. Whether they are in a rehab facility or not, you can also call your better half on a regular basis to remind him or her that they’re never alone. The same can be done with letters, postcards, emails, and text messages. Join your spouse in therapy and take part in the discussions. 

How Do You Support a Partner Without Enabling Them?

Standing by your partner, through good times and bad, is imperative when it comes to addiction recovery. According to a Psychology Today article, having somebody who will stand by you and engage in neutral dialogue on your long journey to recovery can be a blessing. It is one thing to make your spouse seek treatment, but it is more important to give him or her all of the extra support needed to get and stay sober. It is up to the spouse of an addict to be there with open arms, free from judgment. First and foremost, a husband or wife should simply listen to their partner when they discuss their day-to-day obstacles. That way, you can understand specifically why your better half is turning to drugs. You should also make a point to engage your loved one while in therapy. Let him or her know that they can rely on a trusted partnership in marriage. Ensure your spouse that you will accompany them along every step of their rehab journey. You can even visit a professional therapist to address each of your concerns. Seeking such advice can be the difference between relapsing and staying clean. 

Make sure to establish boundaries with your spouse. Create rules and stick to them. For example, if your spouse gets into trouble for abusing drugs or alcohol, consider not bailing them out. That way, they will become responsible for their own actions, and you can protect yourself, both physically and emotionally. Even if you have to skip your buddy’s birthday bash or New Year’s gala, steer clear of any and all activities that can easily lead to a relapse. Rather, take advantage of the precious time together to do something fun, if not constructive. You can exercise together by playing tennis or walking the dog. Learn a new board game or try a completely different style of dance. No matter what happens, you can build positive memories together as a team. Finally, make sure to practice open communication with your spouse’s substance abuse issue. It is imperative that he or she never feels like he or she is flying solo. 

Resurgence Behavioral Health Can Help If You’re the Spouse of an Addict

Seeking professional help from a top addiction treatment center like Riverside is a smart way to see precisely how harmful one’s addiction can be for everyone. Rather than pointing fingers and making anyone feel guilty, suggest different treatment options without making him or her feel guilty or shame. Create a realistic plan to address any addictions with professional help. Over time, you can conquer the list and feel a great sense of accomplishment with each step. Nobody is saying that refraining from drugs or alcohol will be easy. However, you can rely on a little help from a loved one to assist you throughout your journey. Sometimes, the first step is as simple as asking your spouse for help. 

Following the time that your significant other spends in Riverside, it is vital to continue showing love and support. Together, you can inspire one another to be healthy, as well as enjoy each other’s company. Be there to listen to each other’s problems and love one another unconditionally. Over time, you get to celebrate your triumphs. The road to addiction recovery doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Learn more about how Resurgence Behavioral Health can help the spouse of an addict like you by calling us at 855-458-0050. We’re here to help.

External Sources

• National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism — Alcohol’s Effects on the Body
• Psychology Today — Communicating with the Alcoholic/Addict
• National Library of Medicine — The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Families and Children

Josh Chandler
After growing up in Chicago and North Carolina, Josh chose to get help with substance use disorder and mental health in California because of the state's reputation for top-tier treatment. There, he found the treatment he needed to achieve more than five years of recovery. He's been in the drug and alcohol addiction rehab industry for four years and now serves as the Director of Admissions for Resurgence Behavioral Health. Josh remains passionate about the field because he understands that one phone call can alter the course of a person's life.

Research | Editorial