Can My Marriage Survive My Wife’s Drug Addiction?

How Does Drug Addiction Affect a Marriage?

If your wife is a drug addict, you know that supporting a romantic partner’s addiction recovery can be a challenging process to begin, and just getting to the point of them admitting they need help can take a long time. Until they get better, there are many ways their drug addiction can affect the marriage, including:

• One or both partners are unhappy much more often than not.
• Arguments about drug use are extremely common, as are tough talks about related things like money problems, their late schedule, or not keeping up with things at home.
• The affected spouse often feels like they have to cover for or hide the extent of the drug problem on behalf of the other person, whether it’s covering their absences at work or lying about things to other friends and family members.
• Deep talks about feelings and a sense of affection are rare.
• Both people begin isolating themselves from friends or family members as the problems at home worsen.
• The partner will start to feel like they’re losing their wife, or like they’ve already lost the person they once loved.

Unless she gets professional treatment and learns to live a better life in recovery, the marriage is going to face incredible hardships and is likely not to end well.

Should I Stay or Leave During My Loved One’s Addiction Struggle?

If you’re in this challenging situation, you might be wondering if you should leave, as your wife’s struggles with drug addiction seem only to get worse. The truth is, there’s not one universal answer that applies to every situation. Perhaps you’ve tried many times to encourage them to get help, only for those attempts to fail. Maybe you’ve found it impossible to have a true conversation about the issue, but the problem is taking a toll on you anyway. No matter the circumstances, this is a difficult situation to be in.

One small study polled 52 people who were involved with a relationship program that aimed to help them learn better communication and conflict-resolution skills. The study continued for 14 years after the pre-marital program had occurred. By then, several participants had divorced. Of those who divorced, at least one partner in half of the former couples cited substance abuse as one of the issues that led to the end of the relationship. In one-third of cases, both partners agreed that substance abuse was the ultimate reason why they had divorced. About 12 percent said substance misuse or abuse was the “final straw” in their relationship.

While there’s no denying that the relationship is under tremendous stress and decreased odds of success while there’s an addiction going on, the good news is that these hurt feelings and years of poor communication, fights, and stress can still be addressed now. With the right help, including comprehensive drug addiction rehab programs to help the wife break the addiction and couples therapy for addiction that can help the pair reconnect and mend broken bridges, it’s possible to have a healthy, loving relationship once again.

 

What Are the Signs That My Wife Needs Help with Addiction?

If you’re worried that your wife is a drug addict, many warning signs can indicate that they have a serious problem and needs help. Here are some of the many red flags to look out for:

• They’ve changed: You’ve noticed significant shifts in their personality. Maybe they’re isolating from friends and loved ones, or they’re arguing and fighting more than ever. It could look like them being depressed or anxious when they’re not using drugs, or starting to have problems with concentrating, learning new things, and making decisions. This could also look like them taking frequent risks to get drugs, or losing interest in things they used to love.
• Changing habits: As their addiction intensifies, you’re likely to notice new behaviors and patterns in their drug use, such as using the drug as soon as they wake up or while they’re at work. They’re likely to start using more drugs to get the same effects as their tolerance increases, and they might be using drugs more often or taking drugs alone. You’ll also probably see them spending an increasing amount on drugs or even starting to try new drugs or mix different drugs as they try to feel more intense highs.
• They’re struggling: When someone is dealing with a drug addiction, they’re probably going to start having problems at work or school. Maybe they’re frequently absent or seem to have many health or money problems. Their relationships are probably strained, and they might have lowered self-esteem overall.

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How Can I Talk to My Wife About Her Drug Use Without Starting a Fight?

If you’re trying to figure out what to say when your wife is a drug addict, the important thing is to say something, but to take a little time beforehand to plan and prepare for what you want to say. Take this time to do some research, such as looking into the specifics of the addiction they seem to have, as well as how it is treated, and what could happen if they don’t get treatment.

Carefully consider when and where you want to have this critical conversation. It should be in a safe place, away from others, where they won’t feel bombarded or unsafe. It’s also crucial to have this talk when you’re both sober and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Ensure they feel a sense of privacy when you bring up this sensitive subject.

Plan for your tone, too. The goal is to discuss your worries for them, why you’re concerned, and to convey that you simply want the best for them and love them. Mention some upsetting behaviors or patterns you’ve noticed, but don’t make it feel like a laundry list of everything they’ve ever done wrong.

It should be an actual conversation, which means that you are taking the time to listen to what they have to say, and giving them a chance to weigh in is just as meaningful as what you have to say. There could be mental health struggles or other underlying factors you didn’t know about.

Lastly, respect their position, including where they’re at in their recovery journey. While you can offer support, encouragement, and helpful resources, they ultimately are the ones who have to decide to get the help they need. Remind them of everything good they have in their life despite the addiction, and encourage them to keep these things in mind as they get help to get better.

 

Key Takeaways on Wife Drug Addict

• Substance abuse can be a serious problem in relationships and drive people apart.
• Some studies have found that a spouse’s drug problems were a significant reason why the couple ultimately got divorced.
• There are ways a spouse can support their wife during their addiction struggles, especially by encouraging them to get professional treatment.
• It’s essential to listen to them as well and try to approach these tough conversations with concern and love, not judgment or stigma.
• With professional help, couples can repair their relationship and find a new beginning together after addiction.

If your wife is a drug addict, you don’t have to suffer alone. Help is available to steer them toward a better future in recovery and help you mend the broken bridges of your relationship. Call Resurgence Behavioral Health at 855-458-0050 today to learn how we can help you help your wife get the professional treatment she needs to get better.

Resources

• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – Substance Abuse and Intimate Relationships
• Business Insider – These Are the 11 Most Common Reasons People Get Divorced, Ranked
• Government of Canada – How to Talk to a Family Member or Friend About Their Drug or Alcohol Use
• WebMD – Are You Enabling a Loved One’s Addiction?